The Mutation of Misery into MedicineThrough Mutual Support

Between self loathing and self-love there seems to be these dimensionally thin but achingly deep chasms. And while there are many paths out, a bridge between anguish, acceptance & ecstasy should be laid afresh to fit our CURRENT mentality, physiology and collective pressures. Many ancient religions allow that humans have a hard lot, and look to mindfully move that feeling back to a place of acceptance. The priceless and timeless techniques of Buddhism, Kundalini, Taoist and countless other philosophies do it and there's STILL room to do it again. In the living, breathing moment, I do it, even at the risk of appropriation labeling and re-creating the wheel.

No one has ever stopped making art because art has already been made, or because nature always does it better ;) I build bridges from anger, silence, shame and a thousand other sketchy grotto’s into acceptance and embodiment for the simple reason that it's what I, and so many people, need in the world. I don't think we should stop finding ways back to our higher selves because it's been done…. So I create and collect, channel and guide, in great detail, hundreds of different paths back to self and belonging.

Being so very much kinder to others than I am to myself, I NEED to expand out of exasperation, self-flagellation or an exorbitant frustration with technology, gravity, built to spill tendencies, and other laws of physics at least 3 to 30 times a day. Before 4 PM. Every. Single. Day. Pretty much. The up-side of being a professional regression-ist into a fatigue or calamity mindset AND a functional embodiest, is simply that I can help others out of the same pits I have known well and long.

If you or I have a terrible response to an event, if we have built an obstacle, a trigger, a barrier or a blindspot, we’re not alone in it. Isolation is the dark twin of any destructive tendency, & shame loves shade like that. So I'm willing to say that my causes are personal to me AND that they are part of a human condition.

A favorite bridge is “things exactly as they are……self worth, separation & connection”. It arcs between sour self-negation, acceptance and ecstasy, with long standing, expanded moment pauses in contentment, sensory & sensation spread, satiation, and belonging.

Like so many beneficial, and yes, ancient practices, it encourages distance from, and observation of our own thoughts, filters, judgements and stories. Like Kundalini, it helps lift the eternal out of the ephemeral with the identification of soul truth. Transcendental, mindful and other meditations indicate that suffering is in the story. Vipassana-esque body scanning without judgment and reassessing the story around traumatic events has brought about enormous healing for the world. In this work, a pain portal is not a story of injustice, it's a message that simply shows the event. Read the message slowly and with sympathy, and the scroll dissolves.

In a simultaneous and scintillating dualistic truth, other people have different heartaches (and thus different angles/causes/pain points) than mine, where the mirrored empathy for that pain comes from meeting the pain points as people, through my higher self. So it pays to also build and pass on techniques for, um, filter gum removal. giggle…Seriously, understanding the color of my own filters (my particular perspectives of the world) and keeping them objective enough to address trauma points as they are in other people, allows those trauma points, in their turn, to sweetly lead the engagement and exodus in THEIR cadence, direction and rhythm….

It's the denied or silent collective traumas that really grip hardest. Ferociously longing to be seen and freed, they can grasp the fascial body, energetic, physical, mental or emotional bodies and wind it up into contraction. Until they're acknowledged and given a voice by our space and attention, These places are often silent, only speaking in isolated extension or collapse. And the most common reception of these places is to resist them, push them away, live with them, but address them only as “bad” or “betrayal”.

Stress & stoicism, quick judgment and flagellating self-oriented anger are self fulfilling prophecies. They might help us burn over an injury, (& I have a hell of a lot of gratitude for that), but being dry and edgy hardeners, they are bound to create more pain in the future…..The work meets these secret, silent or frozen places as people. And as people, acknowledgment of how they feel (now) and of the event that created them, (past) bring them the peace to release.

Hell, I could be talking about ghosts, and a lot of the autoimmune disorders and endometriosis, fibroids and cancers are very much like poltergeists. Like ghosts, they’re the silenced language of our lineage. Terrible, unopened gifts from grandparents and greatgrandparents, themselves deeply obligated to, and wound up inside of, religious and hierarchical family structures.

If they didn't have a voice, the choice or the same emotional tools we wield so freely, we have them now. and it's in our power to go back and unwind the contractions of inequality and restrictive, normative societal circumstance. Thems’ the rules. You gotta see an ugly. You gotta own an ugly, before you can work with it. Nothing gets to stay comfortably hidden and still change.

We are just now, comin’ out of a crazy age of institutionalized brutality and control. A brutal era, like the exploration of a painful birth, or a childhood in scarcity and fear, doesn't go away just because we don't like it. It's the opposite. More often than not, we are extraordinarily attached to the thing we loath with every fiber. We pull it close with the same strength we resist it. What a terrible place. And the medicine is squeezed invisibly between our oft eroticized resistance and our overwhelming ache to be free. Relax, it says. Do what you will not do. Go INTO the pain. And Don't let it catch you. Attachment must be delicately avoided.

THIS is why we work with others. Our own pain can snare us, trap us in our gooey ache and the hunger of our family ghosts. Letting someone else lift out the awful inclusions of generations, in a more objective way, is the irreplaceable medicine of care for another.

That we can feed ourselves, is required in the laws of self-love. But being fed and supported by another does something else entirely. It negates the myth of being unworthy of care.

Receiving nourishes places we didn't know were neglected. It acknowledges the fear & void stories that we are small and skewed and everything is meaningless, and smiles upon them, acknowledging, soothing and negating them at the same time. The larger truth, the eternal consciousness has seen everything, and still validates our individual experience. It is inclusive and brings all the atoms of trust, and shorn truths, light support-inclusivity, and colder darker knowledge. All to cohese and color the space around us and enhance our own auric truths. It's a pretty beautiful caregiver, when channeled, and this is deeply enriched when people work together.

My own chronic injuries and wounds of rejection and neglect have been healed by the care I’ve received from others. I once received healing from the simple act of being physically supported as I put on my socks. Support goes deep and can work as prayer inside of our daily interactions. My gut dysbiosis re-aligned with health through an interaction with Peia, (you may never know me from that little campfire at Symbiosis, but you embody some of the highest healing frequencies on the planet, and that interaction elevated my health and what I offer back exponentially).

Can we, in our individual healing interactions, and with intention, create a collective caregiver and Doula, to gently transition THIS age out gracefully, and call in the next?