My Healing work & I, an odd couple

Or, why I bring what I need the most.

(If you have an aversion to “about me & what I offer” like I do, skip ahead now)

I’ve been encouraged to talk about the work & I for a second, & I’m gonna follow that, though it’s grossly self referential, & truly uncomfortable to point back at self instead of at the wisdom of an injury or at the “work” in it’s unselfconscious, pure, even ecstatic movements & knowing. (Actually, it’s pretty cringe-worthy, I WON’T be doing it again. Even my egoic center is lookin’ at this piece, like “really?” My only hope is that some of my challenges are resonant with some of yours, & it rings some bells in your own healers halls.

Lets get to it.

In my daily life, I am a fan of fancy over foundational moves; Air, fire & water before Earth, and the extreme ends of things over a moderate, (& the risk of a mundane), middle point. Some of my shadows, (gasp if any of these are your favorites too), include over extension, over self-sufficiency, sacrificial service with almost no ability to structure time off for self, (is this too much? Gawd, we just met) and a secret holding of tension and contraction with a feeling that I won’t be able to do what I need to do without heroic doses of green tea caffeine….caffeine which creates secret tension & contraction.

The phrase “It’s not about me” has soothed many a pre-sesh anxiety. Seriously, try it on. It’s a staycation. It’s a nanosecond by nanosecond unforced, effortless effort of following of what is happening in this other; THIS individual; THIS moment in time & space, even as the past reveals itself in tension points that we, the healer on the table (for a person actively engaging in their own healing IS a healer), and myself, introduce these stuck and fearful places to the present now, even as the now slips, mutable and magic, into this now, and this now, and this now.

It’s funny that the medicine I bring is, in some ways, so opposite to how I roll as a person. Don’t get me wrong, I fully follow what I offer, and I LOVE how I roll as a person; But these techniques are authentically SLOW; focus based and foundational superstars. They are the kind of foundations that other foundations lean on. The whole point of these techniques is a relaxation back into a homeostatic, homeofluidic sense of belonging in the cradle of the natural world, while being fully seen, whole, cohesive and raw, by the larger consciousness………Whereas the material me leans WAYYY more naturally towards a gritty, profound but punch line affectionate, flamboyancy.

For this work, the foundations are NOT a masculinized open square, (valid in its own right and very effective. Nothing beats a good stem wall made of cement and footprinted into the Earth below the frost line), but the foundation HERE is a softening and relaxing back in to source point; Drawing the trumpet flower of our attention away from the outside, and letting it pull back, slide down, & narrow to the nadir, re-homing & restructuring in center, stem and the seed that thrives and pulses in its own eternal rhythm outside of time, scarcity and challenge.

It is outside of gravity, outside of how much we got done this morning, if we are late to an appointment, who spilt the tea and if we used the counter sponge or the good sponge to clean it up. 

Everything on the table, I gotta always keep an eye out for not being too fast, self-flagellating or skittish when stressed. Understanding and identifying where I am contracted or collapsed keeps me softly vigilant. Like any dedicated emotional/energetics alchemist and functional embodiest, I balance the satiation of service against exhaustion & scarcity mind-set, self-worth issues and negative thought against deep embodiment and a purpose led life.

Healer or human, these are things that I still struggle with, and it’s this very struggle that brings an overspilling treasure trove of techniques in kindness, neutral tenderness, auric strengthening, separation & connection, and large, overarching compassion for self and other.

I do all that I can to pour this into my daily life, when I can, observing myself and other people through the lens of compassion; I mean, it takes a lot of empathy to watch the confusion and agony of divine souls work through the mud & blood of this bounded, divided and reconstructed, often unethical earthly experience, where we’re made to endure things like GRAVITY! And shame, deeply unfair circumstances & a fair spectrum of bodily fluids……

So the healing work & I are both big fans of:

Accepting what is, exactly as it is,

Allowing the dark, stuck or young parts of us to tell their story as they know it,

Holding a response to a past event with empathy and truth. It just does a lot more good than pushing it away.

And gravity? We’re comin’ around to it.